It's kinda awkward that I started reading somebody's blog... It's also suprising that I'd stumbled upon it while surfing a friend's links... How small the world can be that I could stumble upon his blog... It seems that fates do cross paths. I remember the person fondly, and it kinda wells up that bittersweet feeling from long past... Suddenly, the song on my blog makes sense again... What the hell -.-" Of course, I'd hope that he finally overcame the fact that I had done him no wrong... In all the years of my life, I had never had the intention to hurt him... Fact is, I gave my heart and soul to him... Only to have him rip it open with his bare hands. I only hope that all that brainwashing has done him good =/ I'm not a fan of whatever that is... And I'm not going to start on the torturing incidents I've endured on that subject alone.
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It seems that it has become my wish that we could become platonic friends again... I know that I can do it... Because I have done it... Only... Chi wei seems to be trying to chase me back... although he never really said it... But yes, he has been a very good friend and a wonderful listening ear. And through him, I have proven the fact that ex-es can actually become your friend. He's the first one but not the last one... I remember YW as well... He has also become a platonic friend... But enough of that.
What of the philosophies of life in these? Returning to the point of time where I was grossly misunderstood by you... I think... As much as I was extremely lost and bewildered by the fact that you thought so much wrong about me... I realised that perhaps... It was a 3rd party's fault... Seriously, I hated you then... to the core... Much of like my love-hate relationships that I have come to terms with and endured so much of my life... But I suppose sometimes, no one will ever really understand. Which leads me to ponder, why do some people tend to create such problems for themselves...
You were someone special... Reminicising you just brings back all the bittersweet memories... I even want to start remembering the time I walked in the rain just to give you your work... And remembering that adorable dog of yours that just gives everyone a SNIFF of a welcome... Was it really SOOOO long ago? And fast forward to the time where we'd fantasize about how many tables we wanted to put up for our marraige (how cute and naive) and the time where... I went to your grandfather's funeral... How I felt about the whole thing... And where we walked at lakeside, talking about life and the philosophies of it... And where it all ended... How I thought "losing you" and how "unwanted" I had become... And where goth became the light of my life...
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And there we went on seperate paths... But I never really forgot you... I had always regarded you an aquaintance I'd ask about... Did you ever even thought of me as a friend? Sure, we had our shares of life experiences... And I'm sure it made a man out of you as it made me realise the SHIT life brings us... One thing I'm sure of though, is the fact that I had philosophised more out of life than you did... My near death experiences and the slumps and downs of life I'd been through, the morbidities of it, had frozen me into what I had named myself, Kel'Thuzad's consort... And the beauty of a life that wisps gave... That delved me into the realms of fantasy, where I reveled in the priestess Diana's sacred starfalls... The dreamy world of Warcraft, the devilry of Diablo... And everything where I could bury myself in it's fantasies to salvage my sanity... From political literature to Gothic poetry... From Astronomy to cusines of gastronomical proportions... I practically breathed all the knowledge.. Can't say I'm Miss-Know-it-all but yes, I've seen the horrors of life to know....
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And after it all... I still want to be your friend. Because I know... It was worth it... But now... Like this... And all the other agenda... I don't know... Because there is ONE thing I CANNOT stand... Go figure.
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P/s I MISS YOU SISTERS!!!! ALL OF YOU! WHEN CAN I SEE YOU GUYS AGAIN!!!! I WANNA GO TO BALACLAVA!!!! >.<>
